An ex-girlfriend of mine used to have a cuddly cat toy with a huge dome shaped head, she loved it- I hated this thing wherever i seemed to go this disfigured evil cat seemed to be watching me. I became convinced that higher powers were observing me through minature cameras and mics placed up its arse. I went at it with my magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers. I found nothing. I called it 'moon cat'. One july afternoon i was out in the countryside driving my Rover princess and i swore that 'Moon cat' overtook me at denham roundabout i can see his green face even now as his scooter sped past me, his bendy pipecleaner tail mocking me two cars ahead...I told the girlfriend of this and other strange sightings, she thought i was mad and mocked my fear. Then one night she herself saw him at the queen anne pub in vauxhall heckling a stripper , she stuffed him in a carrier bag and left. He had to go so in the end I stuffed him down the back of a wardrobe when we moved but I often look up to the moon and wonder whether 'moon cat' actually came from there, and if he was- had he returned ? his mission failed ...

Probably not, but a television program on last night that I watched last night on television attempted to debunk the very loud shouting in most circles that the moon landings didn't actually take place at all and were in fact filmed in sheperton studios by a bloke called Morris with a cine 8 camera and a floodlight. Here are the facts - the conspiracy people believe the following 'irrefutable' evidence as their mantra and upon this rubbish rests their entire case-
1. There are anomalies on the famous polaroid pictures taken by Neil 'buzz' asprin such as shadows being inside out and a bloke with a ladder that looks like a tree. In the moving film of asprin jumping up by elastic in the background a munchkin appears to hang himself from the tree.
2. Van diemens radiation belt would have fried them up before they undid their seatbelts and the drinks trolley came round anyway so man has never been to the moon. or even up higher than what a plane does go. for every two feet in a straight up direction a human goes he must take with him double his own bodyweight in tin in order to survive. This includes staircases and buses. Experts have therefore calculated he would need a lot lot lot of it if he went up as high as what the moon is.
3. The sun would fire something at them. The sun fires hot pellets like an orange owl at odd moments, lethal for the i-pod the astronauts are travelling in, if this were to happen their Sun block would be inadequate protection from death. radioactive broadcasts from capital fm would be beamed into the i-pod and fatally that would be fatal for them.
4. One of the blokes went to see stretch Armstrong at his house on the same night he was supposed to be up there and he was in (the curtain moved and he heard someone go shhhhhh)
5. The flag is made of rubber and moves. Because there is no gravel on the moon it should fall off and land here but it never ever has. Also it only has 50 something stars on it and the US flag has a different 50 something on it.
6. There are no footprints in the dust or big stones of the moon surface made by ducks. NASA freely admits three of its crew were ducks. Hense 'its a big jump for a duck but a small step for a man..kind''
7. Theres a naked woman in one of the pics dancing with a tin man who has no genitals or heart. Doctors say 'rubbish' when told this one exists because science has proved that tin men cannot dance.

Those sixteen points are pretty good evidence of a cover-up to anyone not 'all there', but NASA humored them and still the rumours perspire. The show said all the above points were rubbish and explained everything to these idiots and you should have seen their faces. However there was one point I wasn't satisfied with. One point they couldn't clear up with me. It was one about a photo I have in my possession which I reproduce here and now (left or right) above take a look, a careful look see anything odd? No?Look again look at the figures visor, click on the picture to make it bigger and look carefully at the visor.... yes correct it is of a pattern not used on appollo missions at all its a mark five visor, its impossible!! NASA says 'please stop ringing this number sir'' and well they might , i think a cover up has been covered up in a large scale hiding of facts, all I can say is theres something not right about this picture and this mystery isn't over by a long chalk of chalk yet. Me and some other people will go at this story like a gang of kittens at an unfinished tapestry. I wont be silenced, we have a right to know what this means for us, is 'moon cat' involved? he could be the masterplanner, their godhead, his spaceship a bone china teacup!!! This mystery looks set to go on anon